038

When June could see again, she was face down flat on the ground a dozen yards from the shore, aching in every muscle, struggling to breathe and covered with mud. Her survival instinct immediately kicked in and, forcing herself to breathe, she scrambled to her feet, but as soon as she planted both feet on the ground, her right leg gave in and she was once again on the floor, breathing heavily in an effort to control the almost unbearable pain that pulsed in waves through her body, with epicenter in her right calf. Suddenly, a nauseous feeling took over her, and she couldn’t help but bend to one side and empty her stomach. Her first half-coherent thought came only a few minutes later, when she finally managed to have some sense of relief and focus on her lower abdomen. Reaching under her soaked shirt, she splayed a hand on her belly: she had no idea how she was supposed to feel, but assumed that instinct would tell her if something was wrong, and there was no such warning. Her second thought was to scan around for anything else living, but all she could see were the silhouettes of the trees under the dim night-sky. No voices, either. Xiaofang, was June’s next concern. Could it be possible that the woman had been able to swim down the river with the baby still in her arms? It had to be.

She swallowed hard when, all of a sudden, she felt hot blood oozing down her leg. “It’s alright…It’s alright”, she whispered to herself, but her voice belied her own words. Hands trembling, she reached for the bottom of her jeans and started rolling it up. Without even daring to do any further investigation, she ripped one of the sleeves of her soaked cotton shirt and made a tourniquet under her knee. A sudden new wave of pain went through her when she tightened the knot, forcing her to breathe in sharply.

Her face and hair still dripping, June locked her hands on her knees and tried desperately to think of something, anything. It was established that she couldn’t walk and, even if she could, she didn’t know where she was or what might be out there. Besides, the others might not be too far from where she was and it was only a few hours till dawn: perhaps it was wiser to wait. If only she could find a place to hide for a few more hours…but in order to do that she would have to crawl her way around. A spark of anger at her helplessness made her curse. She had to get herself out of that situation before anything else went wrong, though she doubted there was anything else that could go wrong. The worst of it was facing the feeling that she’d brought it upon herself. It was partially true, but she had taken all the necessary precautions, how could she have foreseen it would turn out like this?

Suddenly, something rustled among the trees, making her gasp. June listened, eyes open as wide as they could go, searching the moon-shadows. Unconsciously, her hand reached on the ground around her for a stone and grabbed it tightly: she felt ready to break a skull if it was necessary.

…

After reading June’s journal, Jon lit up a cigarette and leaned back against the wall with a foot propped, arms folded. He stared at nothing for a few minutes, then raised his chin, working his neck to ease its tightness.

“Do you mean to go chasing after her like some fool hero in a fairy-tale and bring her back?”, June's brother's words kept tingling Jon’s mind until they naturally rearranged himself inside his head.

I wish that I could be a white night in armor

with an army just to bring you back home

If only he could. But real life was quite different.  

“Yeah…Obbie, hi….no, no news yet…”, he started, and proceeded to update his friend on the news, or rather lack of them. Obbie's phone calls were seldom short, and Jon finished his cigarette. Phone still next to his ear, he walked back to the ER, finding Jack outside Martin’s room, sunk in the blue sofa, praying to a god he didn’t even believe in. Jon’s gaze went to a wide-eyed Faith that stormed out of Martin’s room. “I gotta go, Obbie…”, were Jon’s only words before he hung up. Faith opened her mouth to speak, but it wasn't her voice that made everyone turn their heads toward the end of the corridor.

“Jon!?”, cried June, getting up from the wheel chair and rushing forward, giving little jumps on one leg. A nurse tried to stop her by grabbing the hem of her T-shirt, but June pulled harder.

In an instant, Jon was darting through the corridor. When he was only a few steps away from her, he opened his arms and she flew into them. Suddenly weeping, June collapsed against his chest, flinging her arms around him.

Crushing her to his chest, he held her, wanting to never let her go.

“Baby…How? How?”, was all he could utter.

Blinking back tears, she looked up at him, into his deep blue eyes, wide with incredulity. “What are you-?”, she started, but he interrupted her with a tight kiss. Seizing her head with both hands, he looked at her again: “You could have…Christ June, you could have…”, he kissed her more passionately this time, nibbling her lips, oblivious to anyone around them. She started sobbing into the kiss. “It’s alright…”, he murmured, pressing his forehead against hers for a moment before wrapping her tighter in his arms. The lump in June’s throat didn’t allow her to speak, and she couldn’t stop trembling. She took deep breaths, inhaling the comforting smell of Jon’s clothes and his skin through the soft fabric of his T-shirt.

June’s brother had run behind Jon, but left skid marks on the floor and froze to the spot, gaping at pair as if they had gone mad. Face slightly twitching, he glared at one and the other, the way they looked at each other so…surreal. One thing was to know it and another, completely different, was to witness it. When?…How?... John didn’t know whether to beg them to stop or join them in the hug. However, as much as he needed to hold his sister, he considered himself satisfied just to see her alive and kicking. Jack approached him and placed a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Let’s give them a minute”, he said hoarsely.

For a stretched moment Jon and June stood nose-to-nose until June could finally speak. When she did, her voice was so tired.

“I’m sorry I’m late”, she said, chortling slightly and studying Jon’s face as if to gauge his reaction to a little humor. She had never felt so exhilarated before.

He smiled softly, a finger brushing her cheeks, wiping away her tears. “You do know I don’t like having to wait, right?”, he spoke in faux-reprimand. He put a finger under her chin and moved her head from side to side, noticing the fresh wounds on her forehead. “Let me see…”, he sighed. “Lovely”.

“Jon…there’s something you need to know…”, she spoke before he was finished kissing every scratch he found on her face.

“I know…I know, baby…”

“I have no idea how…”

“It don’t matter…it’s weird and it’s wonderful and I love you so much”, he said into her eyes, clasping her head and stressing his words with a gentle shake, making sure she understood.

June chortled and wept again before the two wrapped their arms around each other and joined for another deep, sweet kiss.

…

There were more tears and hugs when June reunited with her brother and father, but less than an hour later, she was closing her eyes on the operating table. It was only local anesthesia, but June wanted to sleep for a month, a year…

Twenty hours would pass until she opened her eyes again.

“Where’s the baby!!!”, she sat up in a terrified scream, eyes wide open, scanning for coordinates of space and time. She weakly fought the arms that wrapped around her until she heard Jon’s voice next to her ear, soothing her.

“June…June….it’s alright, baby”, he cooed, holding her tight against him. A couple of warm, thick tears fell from June’s eyes on Jon’s arm. “It’s just a bad dream”. He kissed her crown.

“What?...Whe- Ow!“, she complained when she felt her wounded leg.

“You fell asleep while they were fixing your leg…I’m here now, just…breathe”

Only when he felt her relax did Jon decide it was safe to release her.

 “What time is it?...What DAY is it?”, she asked, rubbing her eyes with her hands once they were free.

“It’s about 10 o’clock…of tomorrow”, he chuckled and lay back against the headboard of the bed, gently pulling her with him.

She snuggled into his neck and whispered, still not quite convinced that she was safe: “And you’ve been here all the time?”.

“Pretty much…I sent John and your dad back to the hotel, promised them to smack your butt red if you tried to run away again”, he joked to lighten the mood and he succeeded, since June released something that could easily pass as a chuckle.

“I’m glad you think it’s funny…‘cause they didn’t”, he said faux-humbly, recalling the two pairs of green eyes that had dug a hole through his skull the night before. Her second chuckle felt more like the real deal.

“Feeling better?”, he asked softly, brushing her cheeks with his knuckles.

“I think so...”, she said with a frown when she suddenly felt her stomach rumble uncomfortably under her hand. “…but I’m starving”.

Amused and filled with tenderness by her reaction, Jon offered: “What do you say I get you some breakfast, then?”.

June nodded silently first, but while he kissed her forehead, she added, almost meekly: “Could you make it a big one?…”

“You got it”, he whispered and smiled. “I’ll be right back”. And he sauntered out with a spring in his step that made June smile secretly.

Jon had barely closed the door behind him when June had pressed the button to call the nurse: being disabled and pregnant was no excuse for June to look disheveled in front of the man she loved. When he re-entered the room, June was clean and freshened up, comfortably seating on the armchair by the window, leg propped on an ottoman. While she ate, though, he was oddly silent and thoughtful, leaning with one shoulder against the window, one hand in the front pockets of his jeans, the other tapping the window pane with his knuckles, he gazed out the window. She knew what he was thinking.

“Say something”, June whispered after swallowing a portion of pomelo, together with a puff of air she seemed to have been holding since she’d woken up that morning.

“Say the truth”, Jon said, his eyes still lost in the hills not far in the distance. “Why? Why, put yourself in such needless danger?”, now he really looked at her, intense and searching. He wasn’t angry, but seemed rather hesitant about his own thoughts. He heaved an instant sigh.

“Truth…”, June murmured, knowing where Jon was intended, “…people handle it in different ways”. She stopped eating and slouched back on the armchair, fingers laced on her stomach. “Would you have tried to stop me if you’d known ‘the truth’?”

“Of course…who wouldn’t have?”.

“Then there’s your answer. I knew what I was getting into and I knew what sacrifices had to be made. I was fully conscious of the risks, and I was willing to take them. I tried by all possible, legal means, and found no other way of helping them”. She explained with uttermost confidence. “What do you want to hear? Me saying that I’m sorry for being a fool?”.

“No…actually you’re braver than I’ll ever be”, he replied, quite seriously. He walked towards her and squatted on his heels in front of her. With one hand, he reached to rake a hand through her warm-hued hair. Pulling a strand of hair behind her ear, he said: “I don’t think you realize how very much I need you”.

For a second she got lost in the deep blue sea of his eyes until he blinked. “I do, Jon, cause I feel exactly the same about you”, she said, with a sheepish look on her face.

“I promise I will underst- I want to understand…but at least tell me this is gonna be the last time”, there was a curious pleading in his voice, but he didn’t expect or waited for an answer, giving her no chance for protest. He leaned over and began kissing her softly on the lips, but a knock on the door interrupted them.

“Come in…”, she sighed.

“Morning…guys”, greeted John as casual as he could, though it still sounded awkward. “How’s Sleeping Beauty doing?”, he asked his sister while he planted a kiss on her cheek.

“Better…Where’s dad?”

“He’s not taking jetlag very well…couldn’t get him outta bed”, he shrugged. “Beloved baby sister…I gotta tell ya…the people from the editorial are driving me CRAZY”, John gestured with both hands open making circles on either side of his head.

“…which is a lot to say from a guy that works for me, ha”, added Jon with slight amusement, and John couldn’t help but acknowledge with a shrug before he continued.

“Everybody sends good wishes and tells me that you shouldn’t worry, that they don’t need you as much as you think they do”, John caught the tip of his tongue between his front teeth and grinned. June rolled her eyes but, as she buried her face in the cup of mint tea, she secretly hoped it was at least partially true.

An icy silence suddenly settled among them and it was then that June was hit by the realization that…Wait a minute. The hour previous to the operation flashed through her mind: her brother and father had seen everything, so they knew. However, none of them dared to speak first.

June’s stare lingered on her brother for a minute, until the silence started to get to her.

“Alright…”, she started, frustrated that her brother was just never capable of letting anything out without a little push. “Does anyone have anything to say?”

“How could you keep it from me?”, John murmured dryly. “I don’t like being lied to, and you both know it”, he burst now, pointing alternatively to one and the other with a long index finger.

“Don’t be ridiculous”, she snorted. “And if you mean we should apologize, erase it from your mind”

John paced in long steps, up and back, hands clasped behind his neck while the musician remained leant back against the window sill, legs crossed at the ankles, hands on either side of his hips.

“John…we’ve already had this conversation…June and I-“

“What conversation?”, asked June, looking to one and the other.

“June and I had no idea this was gonna turn out like this, John. Especially not LIKE THIS”, Jon threw a mildly scolding side glance at June, pursing his lips as he took a couple of steps and stood behind her armchair, propping both elbows on the head-reast, just a few inches above June’s crown.

John chuckled ironically and June sighed, abandoning the idea of opposing her brother, for she knew what she was dealing with. Her tone was more sincere and less defying when she spoke again, she’d get her answers in due time. “Haven’t you ever faced something you can’t fight against?”

John blinked unconsciously and bowed his head, his trademark gesture to indicate that he wouldn’t voice his agreement. “How long…? When…?”, was all he said, still with a certain air of disbelief. He seemed to be waiting for the moment when they told him it was all just a joke.

“When…were not sure”, began Jon, when had lust morphed into love? He himself wasn’t entirely sure. “How long…not much, to be honest…shame on me”, Jon looked down at June and gave her a warm smile that creased the corners of his eyes. She smiled back. I’ve wanted her for years, Jon could have said, but he didn’t venture. “But time’s definitely catching up”, he shrugged, his hands now on June’s shoulders.

“I see”, John's chuckle had an ironic hue as he nodded and lowered his hands until they rested casually on his hips. “I have to confess this has been…a little too much to take in”, he said before letting out a long puff of air. When he breathed in again his expression was somewhat different. June and Jon stared at him patiently, expectantly.

“But if you need a godfather for the bab-”

“We’d love to”, they replied in unison.

…

Later, June was finally able to reunite with her “team”: it seemed almost impossible that all of them had made it with relatively no injuries, though some, including herself, nursed a couple of broken bones and stitches. The one that had gotten the worst part of it had been Randy, who had been hit in the head by the rocks in the river and was still unconscious but stable. Bill had saved his partner’s life by pulling him out of the water.

Early in the afternoon it was Faith and Patrick’s turn, and Faith seemed determined to know everything, from when June and Lipeng had met to when she arrived at the hospital earlier that day. Even when Patrick was also present, Faith was the one doing all the questioning.

At first, June didn’t know where to begin: she could remember leaving the village quite clearly for example, but almost nothing more until she jumped to the river, and there were gaps before and after, as well. However, once she begun, she could not stop the words from stumbling out.

“And that’s when Xiaofang found you?”, Faith asked when June got to the part where she heard movement in the trees.

“Yes, but we waited until dawn to set off, following the river further downstream. I had to use a stick as crutch and we moved painfully slowly…I got tired very fast and my leg got worse and worse as the hours wore on”, June explained. “That’s how the first day passed by…without us having run into anyone, friend or foe or having covered many miles”.

“At what point did you two get separated, then? What happened?”, Faith made an effort to be patient, but could barely control herself.

June shook her head and bowed. “My leg hurt too much, so Xiaofang had to continue on her own if we wanted to have any chance of getting help. That second night is not something I will cherish in my memories…”, June trailed off: she couldn’t remember ever having been so alone and scared in her entire life. A furrow creased her forehead, but she gave her head a shake and the frown disappeared.

“What gets us to the part when Bill found you, right?”, Faith tried to fast-forward. She couldn’t help but notice that June still held a sort of unpleasant stupor, like a confused fright.

“That’s right, apparently he and Randy were only a few miles upstream, so when I stopped for the night, Bill caught up with me”. In order to carry his friend, Bill had had to build a stretcher with rags of his clothes in order to drag Randy downstream. He had also moved slowly, but non-stop, which allowed him to catch up with June. “I took care of Randy while Bill went to look for help, following Xiaofang’s steps”. In fact, that night she hadn’t slept a wink, either.  

“And the rest is history”, June finished, anxious to get it over with. The paramount relief she’d felt when she’d seen Bill arriving that morning, getting them all on a truck and driving them back to Hong Kong and safety would be something difficult to top.

“Why didn’t he call us? We could have sent an ambulance…”, was Patrick’s only input.

“Bill still wasn’t sure who to call…or what situation we were in…legally, I mean…I still don’t know what situation we’re in…”

“Well…since you ask…”, Faith spoke easily, kindly. “Lipeng and Xiaofang are both guilty of running away and crossing the border illegally…and those who allowed them to, as well”.

June nodded in acknowledgement and pointed a finger at herself. Faith nodded silently and pursed her lips, almost apologetically, before she continued.

“June, you have to understand that runaways are killed as soon as found”, Faith’s tone was somber now, and it was clear that her words came from first-hand experience. “I doubt any of you will ever be able to return to China and, as safe as you are here, I think you should all leave as soon as possible, seize the opportunity that the reach of Chinese law’s arms in Hong Kong is still not clear”, the negotiator said, a certain warning hanging in the tone of her voice. “You’re all under the protection of the embassy, of course, but under such unstable circumstances, you never know what to expect until it’s too late”.

June nodded again. “That’s what I thought”. She sighed.

“I think you’ve told me everything we needed to know, June”, finished Faith after a few moments of thoughtful silence. Considerably more than they needed, in June’s opinion, but it had been necessary and she felt well-disposed toward the woman. “You should get some rest…and out of here as soon as you can”.

June smiled appreciatively but in fact, all she was thinking about was sleeping.

After Faith and Patrick left, June’s father stepped in and came close to her bed.

“I brought you a pen and some paper in case you wanted to write”. He still stared at her in awe.

“Thank you, dad”, she said, her eyes already closed. Jack planted a kiss on his daughter’s forehead before he left the room.

It seemed like she'd only been asleep for a second when her father woke her up with a soft but deep voice.

“Junie, honey, you need to wake up”

“Wha…? What is it?”, she asked, without bothering to open her eyes.

“We need to go”

“Go…where, dad?”, June rumbled. Please, let me sleep a little longer.

“Home, June. We’re going home”.

…

For June, leaving Hong Kong was a rather bitter-sweet moment: on the one hand, she was leaving behind all the worries of the past few weeks with a sense of relief and success, leaving a city that she liked, but didn’t see as a place where she could lay roots in and, best of all, going home; on the other hand, she regretted having to do it in such a rush, without sufficient time to put everything in order, say goodbye to her closest friends or solve issues like, for example, the editorial, which had been her whole life for the most part of the year.

With Martin also on his way out of the country, it only left Paul as the person to trust when it came to get things going. June’s publicist, manager, assistant and editor would weather the storm until June could get her body and mind in the right conditions to take any decisions about the future. She was sure there had to be one: she had surrounded herself with a solid and committed team of professionals who’d make it work, with or without her, no matter where she was in this planet.

However, it wasn’t about her needs or her own safety now, but the ones of the extra heartbeat inside of her. She felt so wonderfully different inside her own skin.

…

The flight wasn’t precisely a comfortable one, but it all went down the drain when the door to her brother's apartment opened in front of her.

“Mom!”, June squeaked before taking three little one-legged jumps that landed her in her mother’s arms. Her brother, father and Jon followed her in.

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?”, Mrs. Cohen said.

June’s eyes filled with tears once again. The cocktail of exhaustion, post-traumatic effect, pregnancy and jetlag had June wearing her heart on her sleeve. “I love you, mom”, she said, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“Alice”, Jon managed an awkward smile and greeted June’s mother with a brief hug. Mrs. Cohen was pretty despite a touch of gray in her hair but had a way about her that just made you not want to do anything that would offend her. Normally, she hid her emotions so well her face was like stone, but her smile was warm this time.

“Hello, Jon…and I’d say welcome to the family if I didn't think you’ve been a part of it for quite some time now”.

Jon smiled appreciatively.  

Mrs. Cohen had prepared a luscious dinner, which they all shared with the exception of Mimi who was still on assignment in Milan. The general atmosphere was of relief, but the ghost of what could have been wasn’t prepared to leave just yet, and every once in a while sent a shiver down some of the presents’ spines.

With his arm lazily resting on the back of June’s chair, Jon finally turned to her and asked. “Ready to go home?”.

“Ready when you are”, she replied gingerly. June’s house was still on lease and she, therefore, homeless for the time being. Jon had “kindly” agreed to put her up for “a couple nights”. She had resisted at first, but not very hard. I’m just concerned for your safety, can you blame me?, had been Jon’s words when they discussed it on the plane. And to be hoonest, right now, she really wouldn’t mind a little…privacy

“Let’s get outta here, then”

“Leaving so soon?”, asked John when he overheard Jon’s words.

“Yeah…”, began Jon as he helped June up with one hand. “We still need to get this homeless lady settled down somewhere”, he teased, but by the secretive, smirky, self-satisfied little smile Jon gave her while he spoke, she knew very well what was in his mind.