021

It was during the last days of that year that June finished the manuscript for her new novel, a fiction that was based on her travel experiences. The previous three weeks had been spent practically glued to her chair and she now couldn’t wait to take a few days off. She was hoping for New Year in Paris with her friend Charlotte, but she’d completely neglected buying the ticket and was now doubting such possibility, chances were she’d have to wait until the following week to take off. Her parents had just left after spending a little more than a week in New York, and June was thankful that they’d been considerate enough with her work to stay at Jon’s place in Manhattan. The night of the 24th the whole Cohen family had been invited to the Christmas Eve Party at Jon’s house in New Jersey and that was the only exception June had allowed herself to make from her seclusion.

After the confusing conclusion of the dinner at Ciro’s, Jon had made a couple of cautious attempts at trying to see June again, but she’d spent the whole Autumn holed up writing in her cabin by the Northern lakes, then back in New Jersey, completely absorbed in her work for the past month, just as Jon had been in the filming of his latest movie. Without even noticing, during those past few months they had both forgotten the spark that had ignited that night, each convinced for different reasons, that whatever they had felt wasn’t meant to happen.

That’s until their eyes met again, and they felt drawn to each other as if their natural state was to be together.

But June wasn’t ignorant of the current situation: even though it was clear to her and certainly to the rest of the guests, that Jon and Dorothea’s interaction was barely a ghost of what it was in the prime of their relationship, it was, after all, their dinner party. Even though they only addressed each other when extremely necessary, they kept charming and warm for their guests. During the course of the evening it became even more obvious for everyone that they were attending the last Christmas at the Bongiovi’s as they knew them, and that foreboding clouded the cheerful atmosphere.

What only a few of the guests new was that Jon had definitely moved to his New York apartment two weeks before.

June was packing up for her trip to Paris when her phone rang.

"I got something that belongs to you and I’m holding it hostage", Jon’s voice sounded playful and fresh. June chortled softly when she recognized the voice, then immediately cringed when she remembered she’d left her camera at Jon’s during the Christmas Party.
"Just give it to John…he’s dropping me off at the airport so he can give it to me there", it felt nice to be in a no-formalities basis.
"OK, but if anything happens to it I’m not gonna be held responsible", Jon teased.
"No, but you’ll make sure that he disappears from the face of this earth if something does", June heard Jon’s soft chuckle.
"Oh no no no…No way, I love your brother too much to do anything to hurt him"

Of course. June thought to herself, erasing with that phrase any doubt about the fact that something happening between her and Jon was fiction material. She just let out a soft chortle.
"So you’re leaving, huh? Where to?"
"Paris. What about you? Any holiday plans?"
"Nah…just staying home for a couple more weeks before heading to London, a little change of scenery for the new album"
"Alright…see you around then?"
"That wouldn’t hurt a bit…you looked great at Christmas. Princess Leia hairstyle never fails…"
"Geez…what’s with men and Princess Leia hairstyle!", June exclaimed with mock frustration.
"And don’t get me started on the gold bikini…", Jon could barely finish his sentence before he burst out laughing, mostly at his own silliness.

…

By April, June had some pending contracts in London and her friend Alex, who would be travelling to Africa, allowed her to stay at his apartment in Soho so she could have some sort of home to come to as she did the promotion tour for her novel around Europe.

June had been in London for three days and by 6pm she was signing books at one of London’s biggest bookstores when she realized she hadn’t lifted her head up once in the past few hours. Her sight felt heavy and blurry. She announced she was taking a coffee break and excused herself. From her cozy corner on the first floor of the newly built building, the cup of coffee secured in her hands and with her forehead pressed against the cold glass, she observed how people came in and out through the door. Spring was coming, but at dusk the streets still filled with mist.

Among the movement, she noticed a man standing near the entrance, surrounded by a cloud of cigarette smoke. He was wearing a baseball cap so she couldn’t see his face, but June noticed how the man looked around with a certain curiosity, probably waiting for somebody else. Then suddenly as if feeling he was being observed, the man looked up, but she could only see his face from the nose down, enough for her to recognize that chin. But no. It couldn’t be him. Besides, he looked too pale or too thin, or maybe it was just the mist that made him look different.

June watched as he finished his cigarette and entered the building. In a matter of seconds she heard the steps resonating up the staircase.

"Jon?", June asked in a chortle as she looked into his eyes. And that was all the confirmation she needed.

Jon smiled. God, he had the prettiest smile in the world.

"I thought you’d be hungry and was planning on taking you out for dinner", he spoke against her shoulder as they joined for a hug. June confirmed that he’d lost a lot of weight, and she could feel the bumps of his ribcage through his cotton sweater. "Your manager told me you didn’t have plans for tonight so maybe I can show you around? Show you places you’ve never seen before", he grinned with self-satisfaction, but apparently the phrase only sounded catchy in his head, since it didn’t provoke in June the effect he’d expected. Jon knew he could be irritating by sneaking into other people’s lives, but the only thing he regretted was not being able to read other people’s minds. Well, maybe some people’s mind he could. June’s, however, and unfortunately for him, he couldn’t. He looked at his watch and interrupted her before she could utter a word. "You still have 45 more minutes if I was informed right…just enough for me to have a nice cup of coffee"

June chortled and accepted her defeat. "It’s great to see you again, Jon. I’ll be back in a while". She squeezed his arm and walked out with her coffee in her hand.

They dined in a glass-covered terrace overlooking the Thames. Under the soft lights of the restaurant, Jon looked like an adult child: he’d just shaved and was wearing a cream colored sweater that looked fashionably worn.

As Jon talked, June looked for his face in the half-darkness. She waited and listened in silence, nodding, rediscovering him. Reviewing legendary movies, June commented.

"Well, I really like Breakfast at Tiffany’s…but probably just for the song"
"Moon River?", he asked, and he hadn’t even closed his mouth after speaking that the first notes of the song started coming out of the speakers.

Their wide-open eyes met in an expression of disbelief before they burst into a borderline hysterical laughter. It took a good number of seconds for them to recover. When they finally did, Jon opened his mouth to speak but June raised her hand, indicating for him to stop.

"Wait", she chuckled, "just let me enjoy this moment…", then she started singing in a low, almost inaudible voice.

Wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.

Jon observed for a few moments, and June, feeling his stare, lifted her face up as she sang, noticing his delightful smirk. She couldn’t help but to laugh softly.

"Wanna join me for a walk?", he finally offered.
"Sure …it never hurts to look at pretty things", she answered with a wink, whatever meaning Jon took out of that phrase, she would leave it up to him.
"Not many pretty things where we’re goin’", he replied as he stood up and took his coat from the back of the chair.
"Oh, I’m sure there are", challenged June, walking in front of him towards the exit, "there’s always something pretty if you know how to find it"
"Jesus, woman…are you always this positive?", he asked as he stepped out through the door.
"What do you mean?"
"I dunno…I just love your optimism", he chuckled, but his tone was sincere, "it’s just little things that you say"

June shrugged with a slight amusement.
"Follow me", ordered Jon with a killer smile.

June followed him until they reached Trafalgar Square, where a luxurious car was waiting for them. Jon’s choice of place rather surprised June, since she didn’t consider it specially attractive.
"Back to Chelsea"

…

The driver dropped them at a generic corner and they started walking, getting used to the other’s steps.

"People think I’m so lucky", Jon said at one point with a hint of sarcasm, then sank in a long silence.
"You are", said June, with the intention of indicating for him to continue to vocalize the thoughts that he apparently couldn’t wait to get out of his head.
"It’s funny…trying to socialize with people", he looked around him and walked slowly with his hands in his pockets, "there’s this cautiousness about people which I just find really alienating. People love me and hate me with the same intensity, without even knowing me. And the worst thing is, you’re not really allowed to complain about any of this. You’re supposed to be grateful", he chuckled ironically, shaking his head. "I get it…I’m lucky and I should appreciate my luck, so if I even hint that there’s a bad side to any of this people will be like 'Liar!', probably ‘cause they want to have it, too, and they want their dream to be perfect"

Early into his monologue, it dawned on June that this wasn’t about mega-fame.
"Where are you trying to get to, Jon?"

He paused. There was no point in delaying it, "That I’m getting a divorce"

June was baffled. It wasn’t a secret to anyone anymore, and it was definitely not new to her, but Jon seemed to be in a special purification mode.

"I’m all ears",was all she could offer.

And with no further ado, Jon started talking, non-stop, letting out all his frustration, his pain, and his fears. June looked into his eyes from time to time, but knew that there was no need to ask anything. Once he was finished, he let out an endless blow of air that ended with a soft moan. In comparison to the conversation they had had in Thailand, this was the real deal.

June was sure she hadn’t voiced her question when Jon answered.

"I don’t know why June, but I feel I can tell everything to you. It’s your face…it just tells me everything’s gonna be alright"
"They say it’s easier to tell things to a stranger, cause they see us how we are and not how they want us to be"
"But you’re not a stranger", he frowned and stopped to stand in front of her.
"Well, at least not a complete stranger. What am I, then?"
"A mystery", he said breathlessly, he didn’t feel like holding anything in anymore.
"That’s the weirdest compliment I've ever heard"
"It’s not a compliment, it’s a threat", he said as he removed with his index finger a strand of hair that the soft wind had thrown across June’s face.
"What do you mean?", she asked almost with amusement.
"Mysteries are there to be solved, to find out what they hide"
"Well, then I must be the most boring mystery ever"
"Or maybe I find something that surprises me…and you, too", the seductive tone in his voice wouldn’t pass unnoticed by anyone in the surrounding 10 miles.
"Something tells me you have a strategy for everything"
"Only when I want to", he whispered against her ear.

June was surprised by the unlikely blend of feelings she was experiencing: infinite tenderness beyond their friendship and at the same time an irresistible need to crash her lips against his, rake her hands through his hair, pull him so close to her she could feel the warmness of his skin against her. He was offering his affection in exchange for her company and discretion, and she wouldn’t be the one to break that deal. Acting her most visceral urges, June smiled softly and hugged him. After they pulled apart, Jon took her hand and kissed it, caressing her knuckles with his lips.

"So, what was it that you were gonna show me that I haven’t seen before?", she finally asked.

The stop sign hit Jon in the head like a hammer.
"It’s just around the corner", he replied with a smile, confident that he wasn’t going to give up that easily.

As much as he wanted to do things right, he felt how the sound of the caution alarm inside of him became gradually silenced by the scream of other less patient urges inside him. He could have easily succumbed, but he cared too much about her, about how she felt. Damnit. June held that look that Jon knew so well, and that he had seen a thousand times in John’s face, the look that asked him if he had any idea of what he was doing.

They just walked, in silence, and June was surprised to find that the streets were less deserted than the central quarters. Jon moved around as if he had lived there all his life, but looked at everything as if it was the first time he saw them. In the silence, June hummed a random melody.

At first Jon tried to identify it, but when he realized he couldn’t, he asked.
"Whose is it?"

June shrugged. "Nobody’s I guess. What? Does it sound like something familiar?"
"No, it sounds like nothing familiar, that’s what caught my ear. It sounds nice. Do you make it up?"

June shrugged again and laughed softly, it had been a life long habit.
"No…", she emphasized with amusement. It just comes out like that.
"And would you remember it if I asked you to repeat it?"
"I guess, yeah"
"Alright, I think I got an idea. Good thing we’re almost there", he said with excitement and surrounded her shoulders with his arm, pulling her closer to him before accelerating before accelerating the pace until they reached the door of the place Jon had in mind.

The bar was composed by a group of galleries, halls and corridors that resembled a tiny maze. It was clear that the owner, besides books, also collected statues and paintings. It was also difficult to tell if you were inside a house or in a tropical forest, for in the center lay a green house full of tropical plants, just next to a hall were a small fire burnt inside an oversize fireplace. At first sight it seemed spooky, but the mysterious atmosphere quickly grew on June.

There was a golden light of smoke and steam. The sound of a piano floated in the air, weak, dragging the notes. Jon made his way nimbly through the corridors and June followed closely, amused by the realization that she feared they’d never find their way back out. They passed through empty halls, and crowded halls and halls with only a few people in them.

In a hall on the other side of the “forest”, June was introduced to the owner of the place, an elegant middle aged woman dressed up in bright turquoise who led them to a cozy, small room with comfortable dark couches and multicolor Moroccan lamps. As requested by Jon, a waiter brought him a small tape recorder, which he used to record June’s melody. As she did, the words he’d been trying to put together the past few days suddenly made some sort of sense.

The hours passed as if in another world, a universe of apparently random soft touches and baffling gazes that defied any reasonable explanation. Their conversation derived into a common topic: June’s brother.

"It’s so hard to get info from him…specially the juicy one", teased June, lifting her eyebrows. "He really cares about all of you, sometimes I think that he feels you guys are his real family.
"So that would make you and me…family?"Jon’s mouth was quicker than his mind.

June’s throaty laughter resonated inside the half empty cup of tea she held in front of her face. She found Jon’s eyes, open, fearless, and she didn’t know what to say, thought something told her she’d said everything.

The sincerity in her eyes struck Jon and he smiled sideways. They both suddenly felt that the cards were now laid on the table, there was nothing to hide.

"I’m leaving at 9", she said softly, "and I haven’t packed yet"

Jon hurried the last sip of wine in his cup and June contemplated him in silence for some moments. Jon, instead, thought about the loneliness that would haunt him that night when he said goodbye to her. He had no more tricks or stories to fool her into accompanying him. He thought about despite everything that he had, he felt he had little to offer, in comparison to everything she gave to him.

"I can hear you thinking, Jon"

He remained silent and chuckled. There was no room for bullshit with her, and all he could think about was how it would feel to run his index finger all the way down her throat.

As if she was reading his mind, she spoke softly. "Don’t say anything. Just take me back to the apartment"

As they walked out of the bar, they heard the bells of a distant church ringing. Dawn was coming, and their time together was  coming to an end. A cold wind blew as they both got out of the car, sheltering taking shelter under the arch of the front gate of the building. Jon found June’s stare just a few inches from his, smiling. They heard steps coming from the other side of the door and took a step back to give way to the suited man with a suitcase that briefly saluted them as he walked past on his way out.

Now, back to reality, the enchantment was beginning to slip off, leaving behind a painful desire and an unbearable restlessness. A simple look was all they needed to understand that neither wanted to even attempt to pretend.

They hugged for an endless minute, and nobody knew who kissed who first, or even if it mattered. They only knew that they found each other’s lips, and that a simmering kiss followed. Before she knew June had her arms around Jon’s waist and Jon’s fingers were tangled in her hair, pulling her face closer and closer. His tongue searched desperately inside her mouth for the source of her cinnamon taste. The warmness of the kiss was a refuge in the cold morning.

A ray of light on June’s face snapped her back to reality, so she pulled apart and chuckled softly, reaching for the keys.

"You know where to find me, right?", Jon asked, reluctant to let her go.

June nodded silently and caressed his face.
"I’ll be waiting", he added.
"Me too"

Jon waited until June entered the building to walk with a quick step towards the car, with her taste on his lips, looking back with the hopes of seeing her come out again.

She didn’t, but that dawn, June Cohen stole Jon’s heart, his breath, and his sleep. Under the dim light of that front gate, June wrote on his lips a curse that he knew would follow him until the next time they met.